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Here Are 20 Signs You’re a Skateboarding Authoritarian Gatekeeper

Are you a gatekeeper? Find out now!
ShreddER November 20, 2023
Skateboarding is not an Olympic Sport
@reverlavie.com

Skateboarding has always been about rebellion and individuality and is deeply embedded in counterculture. However, as in any culture, gatekeepers can emerge, inadvertently stifling the core of what makes skateboarding unique.

Here are the 20 signs that might indicate you've become a skateboarding authoritarian gatekeeper, including disdain for corporate involvement and the belief that skateboarding should never be considered a sport, especially in the context of the Olympics.

1. Nike SB Hate

Consolidated Skateboards vs Nike
@Instagram.com/consolidatedskateboards

You harbor a deep-seated resentment towards corporations, preeminent players like Nike SB, viewing their involvement in skateboarding as an attempt to commodify and control the culture.

You despise the corporate giant and refuse to acknowledge any legitimacy in their contributions to the skateboarding community, dismissing their products and sponsored riders as sellouts.

2. Olympics Opposition

Skateboarding is a crime
@teeshirtpalace.com

You vehemently oppose skateboarding's inclusion in the Olympics, arguing that it goes against the rebellious and non-competitive nature that defines skateboarding, as it's too corporate and skaters are controlled by top executives who never stepped on a skateboard.

You adamantly believe that skateboarding is an art form, not a sport, and you should resist any attempts to turn skateboarders wearing uniforms with corporate logos.

3. Contempt For Olympic Athletes

USA skateboarding team
Via: Richard Vogel/AP

You hold disdain for skateboarders who participate in the Olympics, viewing them as sellouts who prioritize competition over the authentic core of skateboarding and taking money, leaving honor behind.

4. Resistance to Mainstream Recognition

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You resist any form of mainstream recognition for skateboarding, fearing that it will dilute the culture and attract individuals who don't understand or appreciate its rebellious roots.

For any individuals who want a piece of the pie, milking skateboarding makes you sick and you despise mainstream media coverage, arguing that it misrepresents the culture and reduces its street credibility.

5. Nostalgia Overload

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You find yourself constantly reminiscing about the "good old days" of skateboarding and believe that everything was better back then since all the brands are owned and operated by skaters for skaters.

6. Exclusive Skate Spots

No posers
@Gray Falls

You're adamant about keeping certain skate spots exclusive to a select group, believing that newcomers must prove themselves before being allowed to skate there. NO POSERS ALLOWED!

7. Opposition to Diversity

no-diversity
@marciewrites.com

You resist efforts to make skateboarding more inclusive and diverse, believing that it should remain an exclusive lifestyle for the homies that proved themselves with the integrity of skating is only for the streets and not luxurious.

8. Unwillingness to Share Knowledge

no-sharing
@nonameartgroup.org

Instead of fostering a supportive environment, you hoard skateboarding knowledge and refuse to help others receive information on where you received specific OG clothing, skate videos, magazines, and skate shoes.

9. Rigidity in Trick Selection

BATB Rules
@The Berrics

You scoff at skaters who choose to focus on unconventional or weird tricks, insisting that only a specific set of tricks are valid. No hand plants, no bonelesses, no grabs!

10. Resistance to Change

No-Change
@finnjackson.com

You resist changes in the skateboarding community, even if they aim to improve accessibility, safety, or inclusivity. You resist the natural evolution of skateboarding, refusing to embrace new styles, disciplines, or innovations that may challenge traditional norms. Because you think there's no value if you just pick it up.

11. Believing DIY is the Only Way

Skateboarding DIY
@Slug Mug

You firmly believe that the only authentic way to experience skateboarding is through DIY spots, rejecting any sponsored or organized events by the big establishments.

12. Refusing to Engage with Corporate-sponsored Content

SLS-ChicagoCourseRender
@SLS

You actively avoid consuming content created by corporate sponsors, seeing it as a ploy to manipulate and control the narrative around skateboarding.

13. Anti High-fashion Louis Vuitton

LV skate strep
@louisvuitton.com

Your aesthetic preferences in skateboarding align with the anti-mainstream, rejecting anything that appears too polished or professionally produced. You know LV, GUCCI, and other luxury brands are not for the streets.

14. Hostility Towards Other Genders

No_Gays
@wikipedia.org

You undermine or dismiss the skills of other gender skateboarders, who dress differently than the traditional norms.

15. Mocking Beginners

Mocking Beginners
@Dumb Data

You belittle or mock beginners, failing to recognize that everyone starts somewhere. You often find yourself judging other skateboarders based on their skill level, style, or choice of tricks. You think that mall grabbing and posing in malls are stupid.

16. Disdain For New Trends

Skateboarding Trends
@skateboardershq.com

You dismiss new skateboarding trend activities and refuse to acknowledge their legitimacy since you are the triple OG that only focuses on your own generation fit.

17. Frowning Upon Skatepark Etiquette

Frowning Upon Skatepark Etiquette
@Gifted Hater

You disdain those who adhere to proper skatepark etiquette and insist on enforcing your own set of rules. OGs only, and you think that hazing is needed for the newbies to prove themselves before accepting them.

18. Associating Corporate Sponsorship with Selling Out

Greg Lutzka walmart
Credit: Greg Lutzka; Walmart

You equate any corporate sponsorship with selling out, believing that true skateboarders should remain untainted by commercial interests. You think that skating for a core skater-owned brand must be injected in every blood of skateboarders.

19. Criticizing Skateboarding Celebrities

Gary Vee primitive skate hoodie
@Instagram.com/garyvee

You criticize celebrities wearing skate shirts and skate shoes since they never skateboard in their life.

20. Believing YouTube Skaters Are Wack

YouTube Skater Article by Thrasher
Credit: Thrasher

You hold a strong bias against skaters who gain popularity through YouTube, dismissing their contributions to the community as "wack" or inauthentic, regardless of their skill level or dedication to skateboarding like the negative Thrasher article.

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Next: San Francisco Council to Recognize Skateboarding as Legitimate Transportation

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